Ep. 008: WTF is Bro-Marketing Culture?
Since I mention “bro-marketing” right in the intro to this podcast, I figured I should dedicate an episode to explaining what it is, and why I’m not here for it.
Bro-marketing has less to do with gender, and more to do with an attitude about business. It’s the mentality that says you should wake up early and go to bed late if you want to succeed. It tells you to forego everything that brings you joy if you want to be worthy of making money. It says that you can only earn enjoyment from your business when you reach a certain point, and along the way should be nothing but “hustle.”
And it encourages business owners to sell in a very pushy and aggressive way. You should know by now that I don’t believe in these methods. But I also think it’s important that I point them out so that we’re all on the same page when I mention it. And yes, women can absolutely hold bro-marketing beliefs too.
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Awkward Marketing with RKA INK
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Erika Tebbens: Hey and welcome back to the podcast. Today I wanted to chat about bro marketing. I know that in the intro to this podcast, I mentioned bro marketing right from the get-go.
So I figured I would do a whole episode on what it is and what it isn't, because there may be a lot of you listening who are like, "I don't know what the heck that is. I've never heard that concept." Or you might think I'm implying something that I, I am not. So I just wanted to make a quick episode about it, uh, because you know, I have a lot of thoughts and feelings and opinions on it.
And so I just wanted to chat about it and make sure people people know what I mean when I mention it. So this is, this is going to be fun, maybe fun for me, not, not fun for people who love bro marketing, but I feel like if you're here, that's not you, which is awesome. So, uh, first things first, I just want to say that even though it's called bro marketing, it has absolutely nothing to do with gender.
It's just, it's kind of the umbrella term, uh, because it has like a very bro kind of feel to it, but that does not mean that it is limited to cis-gender men. So I've seen plenty of women who do use, uh, bro marketing sales tactics as well. Uh, granted it's, you know, I, I feel like I see it a lot less, uh, but I definitely have seen it.
In my opinion it's more of a mindset rather than something that is, you know, only something that guys do. And also, I will say there are men online, who don't embody bro marketing culture at all. So one of my favorites is James Wedmore. I actually really, really love his Mind Your Business Podcast. And I feel like from listening to him and following along with him, that he is not in the bro marketing sphere at all.
And I really appreciate that. And it's why he is one of the men who I actually really enjoy following along with and learning from. So, yes, so now that's what it is not, it's not just dudes. Um, but what it is at least how I see it and maybe other people would say otherwise, but this is what it looks and feels, and sounds like to me.
So to me, bro, marketing culture is aggressively selling. It's making people feel stupid. It's shaming people. It's very in your face. It is quote unquote my way or the highway. And it's placing a lot of value in traditionally material things. So I know in the previous episode I mentioned shaming as a way not to sell, that I feel like is a real crap way to, to sell and to market is making people feel some sort of shame if they don't invest in your product or your service. But, uh, that is very much like the, the bro marketing way is that very traditionally masculine, aggressive, like sleazy car salesman kind of way of selling.
And I'm going to give an example that is very timely because I keep seeing this Instagram ad and I'm not going to call the dude out actually. Like, I couldn't even tell you his name off the top of my head. So the other day I was scrolling, you know, as we all do. And I see this video and I don't have my sound on.
So I see this video of a guy on like a piece of workout equipment in his backyard by his pool. He's in regular clothes. So jeans like regular sneakers, whatever. He's doing pushups and he's, his head is turned and he's looking at the camera and he's talking. So it had the caption overlay on it and I'm looking and I, my first thought is, "Why is this guy doing pushups in regular clothes while he's talking?" My second thought is, "Oh, he, his business probably has something to do with like health and fitness." And so that kind of fits the mold. Like if he's selling something that is maybe, you know, fitness coaching program or a program to help mentor fitness coaches, something along those lines, like, it kinda makes sense.
That's kind of, on-brand. So little weird that he's in jeans, but okay. And then. I look and I look and see like what he's actually talking about. And then I click on the thing to go to his profile, to see what he calls himself. He is not, he has no fitness, anything in there. He is just a regular entrepreneur.
And this is a thing that is marketing for doing speaking events that can make you six figures. Some like, I, I can't even believe this. I took a screenshot of it. I immediately sent it to my friend RKA who does, uh, awkward marketing. Uh, she is going to be a future guest on the podcast. She's freaking hysterical.
Her business is called RKA Inc. Uh, but she also has a YouTube channel called Awkward Marketing was just, this is the greatest thing ever. And so I sent it to her and I'm like, "Rachel, like what, you know, what is this? Have you seen this?" Because she is very much, uh, of the same mindset as I am when it comes to selling.
And she was like, "Oh my gosh, no, I can't like, I can't even believe this." And it was just, it was like too good. It was like too perfect of an example of what I would say, but like, almost like an example that I would make up as like something hyperbolic, something that is just like totally outrageous. Uh, but so I could, I almost couldn't believe that it was like real, that I was, what I was seeing was what I was actually seeing a dude in regular clothes, like literally flexing selling his thing that had nothing to do with working out.
It was this, it was like the epitome of bro marketing. Right? And there's also then the mindset for a lot of years that if you are not working around the clock, that you totally suck and you don't deserve any level of success. So it's very much like, you know, you wake up at 5:00 AM and you're working straight through until 11:00 PM and like, you know, fuck your family.
Like, fuck your other obligations. If you aren't all in, on your business, all around the clock, if you weren't like eating, sleeping and breathing your business. And creating content for it and marketing for it and pitching and dah, dah, dah, if you aren't doing all of that, then you don't deserve an ounce of success.
Like I think, you know, we all, can all know, like we all know that that rhetoric that is out there. And that is simply hot, garbage, at least in my opinion, but I do not think that by ignoring all of the things in your life that bring you joy at the sake of building your business, I really, I don't understand that mentality.
Now I get, there are periods of time where you are going to have to make a decision, you know, do I go at, you know, whatever like that girls' weekend or whatever it is. I don't know, go on that hike with friends or do I make the hard choice to stay in and do the work that I know absolutely has to be done.
And it's not to say that choosing to do the work is always the right case or choosing to go on the hike with friends is the right choice, but bottom line, like, yes, you're going to have to make hard decisions. Sometimes you're going to have to do work when you would rather be Netflixing like right now, it is finally a gorgeous day out.
And I really want to watch Wine Country again on Netflix and just hang out and drink cold brew and chill on my couch with my dogs. But I knew that I should take a little pocket of time and record some podcasts episodes because it's in my best interest to not let my work pile up. Uh, but that doesn't mean that later tonight, I'm not going to also watch Wine Country and relax with my dogs on the couch. I'm going to enjoy the Game of Thrones series finale, all of that. Like I it's, it's about the, the balancing and not the hustling till until your eyes are bleeding to somehow make you worthy of success. Uh, as a sidebar, I'm going to have a whole future episode, all about hustle, culture and things like that.
But you know, I will say for now that if somebody is telling you that you need to be hustling 24 seven and, uh, you know, sacrificing every single thing in your life that brings you joy or else you're unworthy. I say BS to that. Uh, I think it's also, you know, I've done a lot of money mindset work over the last, probably three years now.
And I truly,I don't feel negative in any way about people who want to amass wealth with their business and then use it for things that seem very like posh. You know, like if you, if you want to make six figures and then when you hit that benchmark, if you want to go buy a $3,000 handbag as a way of treating yourself, there is no shade for me, whatsoever. But I will say there are a lot of accounts, a lot of them are geared at women as well on Instagram where I've ended up unfollowing them because I, they kind of have that message, and I'm sure a lot of you can relate to this, that message that like, the only payoff to a successful business is being able to buy like the Louis Vuitton shoes or the, you know, the sports car, like the convertible sports car, or to go to the South of France or all of those more like material very, uh, like lifestyle, like posh lifestyle things.
Again, there's nothing wrong with any of them, but for myself and for my ideal clients, our reason for running our businesses is to have a life that we get to call our own, that we get to call our own shots, that it might mean really wonderful travel, but it's because we want the experience. Not because we are interested in showing off how, you know, wealthy and glamorous our lives are. But I feel like in the bro marketing world, it's very much like, "Hey, here I am in my, you know, my gorgeous, like a multimillion dollar beach house. And, um, look at this, you know, wealth I've accumulated and, uh, you know, all of this can be yours too if you just follow like my 10 step swipe file funnel, formula."
Whatever. Like it's, I don't know. It just, it feels very hollow to me and it's not really, uh, it's not really like what gets me going. Like what gets me going is thinking about being able to write a check for $10,000 to one of my favorite philanthropic organizations. Like that is why, uh, I want to hit six and seven figures at some point, not because I want to get a red Ferrari. It's just, it it's, that's totally cool if that resonates with you, it just doesn't resonate with me. And it tends not to be the case for my clients either. Uh, and I think there's also a lot of this, like 24 seven launch culture as well, that comes with bro marketing. That it's like, if you aren't launching, if you aren't pitching, if you aren't doing this, that and the other, all of the time, then again, you are not worthy. Like you suck, you're not dedicated. Like you should just forget it. Like, it's just this very like, aggressive, like, you know, if you're not all in and like F you and blah, blah, blah. Like I, no, that's, I don't love it. Um, and I remember actually, like, so part of it too, for me, the bro marketing thing is it's this very like, um, there's this like technical marketing, very pushy aspect of it as well.
And I am all here for smart strategy. I'm all here for people who are really tech savvy and, uh, help people scale their businesses and all of that. I am so here for that, like a hundred percent, that is fantastic. We have all of this amazing technology now. It's really cool what we can do and the ways that we can leverage our time.
But I remember this was even 10 years ago. I remember I was, uh, there was a system online. I believe it was run by two or three men. I wish I could remember what it's called, I don't, but it was all about online marketing. And I just remember at the time, it was a lot of like, okay, so you get your landing pages and your, your squeeze pages and all of this.
And I remember feeling like it didn't really resonate with me, but I didn't know that there were alternatives. Like, I was just, it was such a realm that I was unfamiliar with that I was like, "I guess this is just how it's done. Like, I get, you know, these, these people make a lot of money, so I guess if they're doing this and this is just what you have to do to be able to have a successful online business."
And now that, and I had kind of forgotten about it, honestly. And then recently I was thinking of the term squeeze page and it, it popped into my head. Actually, it was on an Awkward Marketing video, my friend, Rachel. And, uh, she said the term squeeze page and it brought all of that flooding back, all this stuff from 10 years ago, I had totally forgotten about it.
And I was like, "Ah, yes, this was like my first exposure to bro marketing culture before I even knew that that was a term people called it." Uh, in fact, I don't even know if that term existed back then, but the it's like the idea that, you know, somebody gets on your landing page and then they're like squeezed through this funnel.
Until they convert and they buy your thing. And at the time I was just, again, I was like, I guess it's just what it's called and okay. Like, it makes sense, whatever, but now I'm like, "I don't want to be squeezed as a consumer pet just feels gross."
I don't want somebody to look at me like just another number, another blip, to move through their funnel and be squeezed into making a purchase. That feels gross. That doesn't feel like I'm respected or valued or intelligent enough to make my own decisions. It just feels like I am being psychologically manipulated into purchasing whatever it is that they are selling.
And I now I'm like, "Oh yeah, I guess, you know, even back then, I was not on board with this." Even though, I had no way of, uh, talking about it or I didn't know that there were all like alternatives or anything. So I'm glad that there are alternatives. I'm glad that there are people who are examples of really successful entrepreneurs, who don't use these tactics, these bro marketing tactics. But that is, uh, that's how I see it. Again other people might have other ways of describing it or other examples, but to me, it is very much the people who are constantly, almost like making their people they're pitching to more of like a number, a data point, uh, you know, some like, uh, I don't know, a bunch of dollars, like, uh, you know, a transaction rather than an actual human who they can help.
And, uh, and I don't, I don't love that. Um, I'm pretty sure if you're here, if you've been hanging with me, especially if you've been listening for awhile, uh, you probably don't love it either. Even if you didn't know there's a term for it, now you do. So, uh, I hope that this episode has been helpful in kind of giving you language around it.
And also just knowing that it doesn't have to be that way. I truly, I am so fortunate to know quite a lot of six-figure earners who are not using bro marketing and they are not working 24 seven around the clock and they have beautifully balanced lives with their families and friends and rich experiences.
And so, uh, you know, if you need help, obviously I'm happy to help you. I'm happy to work with you on, uh, finding systems and strategies that work and don't feel gross so that you can bring in more money without the hustle, without, you know, working yourself to death, without feeling like sleazeball, all of that I would love to, and I will put in some info in the show notes as well.
But as always, like I'm, I'm always on social media, especially Instagram. I love it. So you can find me there @erikatebbensconsulting. And I know my name might not be the easiest to spell, but you know, it's, my, my name was right in the beginning of the podcast and all of that good stuff, but yeah, @erikatebbensconsulting, find me, screenshot this episode, put it in your stories, tag me and reach out.
Like you can always slide into my DMs and say, "I need help. I am struggling." I will not make you feel bad about it for a second. There is never any hard pitch from me, but I also want you to know that you do not need to struggle and you do not need to sell your soul and feel gross in order to have the success that you want.
So please know, there is always a better way and it does not have to be, uh, you know, tied to the gross feelings of bro marketing culture. So as always thank you for tuning in. I really truly appreciate it. If you know, other people running businesses who you think would love this podcast, especially if you are listening on iTunes, just take a hot second to rate or review, because what that does is it tells Apple to share the podcast with more people. It gives us as a suggested podcast to them so that they can get it or directly tell people, "Hey, look, go listen to the Sell It, Sister Podcast because, um, you know, sharing is caring and, uh, and I really do appreciate it. And as always, have a wonderful day and happy selling.
