Ep. 010: Your Friends Don't Owe You Business Support
When you start a business it’s easy to assume that because you love what you’re selling, that everyone in your life will love it too!
Depending on what it is, some might be thrilled to pay you for it. But the reality is that your friends and family might not be your ideal clients. They might not be the right audience for what you’re offering.
And even if they are, they might have their own personal reasons for not wanting to shop with you.
I realize this can sting! But when I shifted businesses, I suddenly was selling something that was not a great fit for most of my friends. While they had spent money with me in my previous business, that wouldn’t make sense now.
I had to start expanding my mind to accept that while they did want to see me succeed, I could never expect them to become clients.
The sooner we can change our mindset around where and how to get clients, the better off we will be. Especially in the long run! And if it happens that friends or family do become clients, all the better!
But it shouldn’t be something we automatically assume as business owners.
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Erika Tebbens: Hey, welcome back to the podcast. Today's episode is going to be a little bit salty, but for good reason, because I, as you know, I never want to shame anyone or make anyone feel stupid, but I do want to educate you so that you do not make some selling mistakes, some mistakes in your business that could honestly cost you sales and respect and all of that.
So today I'm going to be talking about the fact that your friends and family do not owe you a damn thing in your business. So yeah, let's dive right in. This is not going to be a super long episode or anything, but it needs to be talked about.
This was actually on my list for sometime in the, in the near future, but not, not right now, but, um, I was getting my hair down last night and my, uh, the woman who does my hair and I were chatting and I was like, you know what, we, I, I need to get this out sooner because it's, it's just rampant. Uh, and it's not great.
So there is, I'm sure you've all seen if you are on social media every now and then there's like, like a meme or like a post that goes around that is, it's basically very, um, like passive aggressive about supporting your friends with businesses. And I don't mean the one, like I've seen the one that's it's like cute and it's lighthearted, that's like, you know, every time you, you buy from a small business, like the owner does like a happy dance or something like, that's cute. That to me, that's just saying like, "Hey, as a small business owner, like I have a lot of gratitude for my customers, my clients, like all of that." That's great. I am so here for gratitude and appreciation all of the time.
What I am talking about are those posts that are like, you know, talking about, like my kid gets to do like T-ball and dance and soccer and blah, blah, blah. And like, uh, you know, I get to like pay the, my, like, I don't know, utility bill, like I don't, you know what I'm, I can almost guarantee that, you know what I'm talking about or you've seen some iteration of this. Right?
It's very much this thing of like, um, almost gives you that vibe of if people aren't supporting me, then that means I cannot be doing these things for myself and my family. And they're always like basic level things. They're not like, it's not like when people are like, "Oh my God, gosh, you were able to help us, you know, raise enough money to adopt a child for a business." Right?
It's it's not like these huge things. It's like, uh, you know, day to day like you, you know, help me buy groceries or help me, um, pay for soccer cleats and things like that. And while yes, as a small business owner, your clients, your customers, the money that they, um, that they are, you know, spending, maybe you're funneling some of that to basic life stuff.
Like, yes. I mean, I take my money and I love to travel, so I love to spend it on travel. Or, uh, to get my hair done, like all of those things. But I would never want to make anyone feel obligated to do business with me so that I could have those things or those experiences. And one thing I know that so in my previous business, almost everything I sold was under a hundred dollars.
And a lot of my ideal clients were my friends and were family members, namely my mom. But, um, cause I sold bags. Like I sold handbags and tote bags and you know, home organizing stuff and like stuff that the people who I hang out with need and use, and they were my ideal client. And I had a lot of friends and family who were regular clients of mine.
And that's totally fine. I also had people in my life who never bought from me for four years and that's totally fine too. Uh, and then when I switched businesses, all of a sudden. The thing I was selling, the service I was selling was no longer applicable to most of my previous customers because now I work with business owners and most of them are not business owners.
And also what I had to offer was at a higher price point. So even for the people who were business owners, like let's say in that world of direct sales and network marketing, they still were not going to be my clients. So even for me, I had to, I was so used to, uh, having a lot of people who were close to me in my life already, who would regularly spend money with me.
And then I had to suddenly pivot my brain, my mindset to be like, "Oh, wait a minute. How am I? Okay. Like now I need to, I guess I need to like, uh, meet new people or like find out where my new ideal clients are." And all of that stuff. The stuff that I teach my people about, I had to do that myself. I kind of had to like reinvent myself cause I was reinventing my business.
And so I had to reinvent the way that my mind worked when it came to who I was going to be marketing my stuff to. So it wasn't like I was reinventing myself, like my whole self, uh, my internal self, but just the way I had been doing it for four years, I had to change it up. But even then, even when my, a lot of my friends and family were buying from me, I never felt like they were obligated to, I was always really appreciative and glad and happy, but I never expected them to.
And I see it way, way, way too often where, uh, and it's usually I see it on Facebook. If I'm being honest, where business owners are putting stuff out there besides the meme that I was talking about, but putting stuff out there that really has this bent to it of, "People need to be sharing my stuff more, people need to be, if people really cared about me, they would help my business succeed."
And I'm here to say that it is nobody's job, but yours to make sure that your business succeeds. So while it is so lovely and wonderful, uh, when people in your life do support you or do share about you or anything like that, they just are not obligated to. And I've seen some people, even people outside of the world of network marketing, people who have, uh, made a product or have a service, something they've created a business they've created completely from scratch, where I have openly seen them saying, like, "I, you know, I wish more people would share this or can I get, you know, will you all share this?" and, and things like that.
The reality is, and this is really based on a lot of what I teach as well in my courses. And in my coaching is that when people love what you do, when people love what you have, when they are raving fans, they will share without hesitation, they will share automatically. They will want to share.
They will be so jazzed to share your stuff without even being told to. And that is what you should focus on instead, and not feel so bad about people who are in your life personally, or on your social media, not spending money with you or not sharing out your stuff to the world, because that is bottom line, it's not their job.
So instead, my suggestions to you are to focus on who your ideal client is. Uh, W arrange your, all your messaging and your marketing so that you're speaking directly to that person, have a visibility strategy for your marketing, um, and any launches or, you know, anything that you're doing, you have to do that, for yourself in your own business. Work on really nurturing people and giving them good value, both free and paid, turn them into raving fans. They will gladly share you out of their own accord. I know I do it all the time. I share stuff that I want to share all the time, because I love the, you know, the people putting it out.
I love that. I love the product. I love the service, whatever it is. I am so happy to share. Uh, if you need help with a specific plan, like if you need help with the foundations of what I'm talking about, it's all in my course, Sell It, Sister, which you can find at sellitsister.net. Uh, and I also, it's something that I work really closely on with my clients, whether they are in my Success Squad group program, or one-on-one where we actually can work on that strategy together.
But, uh, the time is now for us to collectively stop, uh, passively, aggressively badgering people into financially supporting us or even energetically supporting us, um, because you have to figure out how to have your business stand on its own and show massive gratitude and appreciation for the people who show up and share you out and are your raving fans.
But you have to have your own strategy that does not rely on that because it's, it ends up just, it crosses over into that sleazy territory. Um, it can really make people feel distrustful of you and, um, kind of annoyed if I'm being honest, uh, and other, not so great feelings. So yeah, if you, if you have questions, if you need help, um, if you have ever shared anything like that, and now you're feeling guilty or called out, please do not.
I don't want to make you feel bad because chances are, you only shared it because you saw like five other people share it. And you're like, well, I guess if they are then I should too. And that's how a lot of sleazy selling gets spread is cause we just see other people doing it and we, our thinking then we'll, if enough other people are doing it, it must be the right thing to do.
But that is just not always the case. As my mom would always tell me when I would be arguing with her over why she wouldn't let me do something. You know, "If, if everyone jumped off a bridge, would you to?" Like, God, that's such a mom thing. I feel like the same, the same thing goes with business just because a lot of people are doing it doesn't make it less sleazy.
So, yeah. Uh, real quick episode here, um, I hope you enjoyed it. Let me know, be sure to join my group. If you are not in their, sellitsisterhood.com. And, um, if you feel compelled on your own that you want to share out this episode by all means do, but that's for you to decide, not for me. Um, I hope you loved it. And as always, much love, and happy selling.
